There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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