you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
