I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
