Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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