This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
