he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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