the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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