Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
did i walk over a car last night?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
