So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
