Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
