I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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