i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize