he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
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