I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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