i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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