he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
