I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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