i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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