It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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