the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
