Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
His nipple licking is glorious
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