The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
