Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
