can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
