My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
