You can't special order awesome
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
