I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
