he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
