Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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