so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
