My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
