We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
