Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
