I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
