i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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