i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
