I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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