It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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