Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You pole danced in your parka.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize