If you die in college, do you die in real life?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
So vagazzling was a success
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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