do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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