okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
