Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
