Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Randomize
