I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
