shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize