Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
