I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
