i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize