yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
