Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
