You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
