is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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