I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
