Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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