I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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