just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
