K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
