so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
