i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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