The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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